“Overcoming Depression”….could it be??

I really enjoy Steve Pavlina’s site, which I came across while researching polyphasic sleep.   His articles about self-discipline and goal-setting are very motivational, but I’ve been stuck in such a funk lately that I’ve been having a hard time implementing his suggestions, and of course becoming all the more depressed at my failure to do so.    Today it occurred me to search his site to see if he’d written about depression at all, and by golly he has.   

At first I did find his ideas overly simplistic, even insultingly so.   These problems are chemical, damn it…it’s not just “Aww, I’m thinking about sad stuff right now, *snif*.” 

But then I really got to thinking about the way my brain tends to work (or not work) during depressive episodes, and before & after.   I do have a tendency to try & retreat into fantasy worlds, but have always fought this as escapist.  Lately, for example, I’ve been dreaming of moving to Portland, OR, but haven’t allowed myself to think too much about it because actually moving there would involve abandoning a lot of very important responsibilities I have here.   Thinking through Steve’s ideas, though, I should go ahead and dream of Portland…of living in a area where I wasn’t the only vegan in the county and didn’t have to spend so much time witnessing animal abuse in my own back yard (quite literally, when I see the hunters going out in the morning & hear their gun shots all day long).    I should go ahead & fantasize about having museums, poetry readings, and restaurants I can actually eat at within a short walk.   I mean, it’s not big stuff in the grand scheme of things, but if one of my problems is that I’m feeling extremely isolated out here in the country, then it should help, right?  

Like I said, I used to reject this behavior as at best escapist and at worst downright irresponsible.  But the part I hadn’t considered is the fact that your thoughts actually *do* change your brain chemistry.   No one who’s spent much time thinking about sex can deny this;  your thoughts definitely have an effect on your physiology.  ;) 

So, kind of taking Steve’s ideas and running with them…if thinking about the messy tangle of responsibilities I’ve created here in Ohio depresses me, and thinking about a more glamorous and (most importantly) effective life elsewhere makes me feel good, why not feel good?   If it’s actually going to change my brain chemistry for the better, then it’s actually the *responsible* thing to do, right?

Another interesting path this leads to…anecdotally, I get the impression that depressed adults tend to have been big daydreamers as children.   Could it be that as kids we were essentially self-medicating ourselves with imaginary happy thoughts, and that once we grew up & denied ourselves that method of coping we became depressed?