Six Months Raw: My Experience

Six Months Raw:  My Experience

Let me start this by saying that I have no hidden agenda for sharing this information.  I’m not trying to sell blenders or bananas.   I know there is a tendency to distrust people who share “success stories,” so I wanted to put that out front.   I have nothing to sell.  I’ve had a positive experience that I want to share with others who may benefit from the info.  That’s all.

January 1st marked six months since my last bite of cooked food.    Those of you who’ve met me recently might be surprised to know that six months ago I was suicidal and practically agoraphobic.  Even many of those who *did* know me then would likely be surprised.  But in fact I’d been heading down that path for years.  My first memory is of being frozen with obsessive worry.  Over the years I have experimented with all kinds of alternative treatments, trying to stay as functional as possible (”functional” was always the goal…somehow “happy” never even seemed like an option).    People perceived me as cold, hard, bitchy, “a miserable person,” or just odd.   In truth I was in so much emotional pain that it was all I could do to get by from day to day.  Over the years the depression and anxiety got worse, culminating in the last few years when I became almost non-functional.  Moving to the country, which was supposed to help, ended up adding to the problem because I allowed myself to become so isolated.

Prior to last July 1st I had flirted with a raw food lifestyle for two years.  I was led to try the diet in the first place because I’d heard it could be a huge help for people with depression and anxiety issues.   I failed for various reasons:  got sick of the food, thought it was too much work, gave into cravings, all the usuals.     At my lowest, last spring, I turned to raw food as what I felt like then was my last hope, if it didn’t work, I felt suicide was my only other relief from the pain.  Fortunately, it worked.    Even under this pressure I had a hard time sticking to the diet, but on July 1st I recommitted to 100% raw, and this is what I have experienced:

~Mood
As mentioned above, at my worst I was very close to agoraphobic, and was absolutely terrified of people.   I rarely talked to anyone other than my husband.   I rejected contact with anyone who tried to reach out to me via phone or in-person contact.   I can thank email and texting for those few friends I had left at the end of this period!   Depression had me feeling so helpless and hopeless I could barely get off the couch some days.  Everything was negative and bleak…black.   Today I literally feel like a different person.  I can’t say that my depression and anxiety are gone, but I am managing them.  I am functional, even happy sometimes!   I have friends, I go places, I do things.  I even enjoy it!   Probably doesn’t seem like anything to get excited about to an average person, but to me it is huge.  And when I do get depressed it’s a very different feeling than it used to be.  I can distance myself from it, see inside of it, call it out.  It doesn’t control me.

~Energy Level
I was 35 when I went raw, and there were many days when just getting a few daily chores done was all that I could manage.  Whether this was primarily or exclusively a symptom of depression, or of physical illness, I really don’t know.  But it was one of the first issues to resolve when I went raw.   While I can’t say my energy is “boundless,” as some raw folks have experienced (what would that feel like, anyway?), I am able to do everything I want to do in an average day, which is a nice switch for me.  And some days I have *so* much energy I have to exercise for hours just to keep from crawling out of my skin and slithering away.  This is an area which has continually improved and in which I expect to see further improvement.

~Music!
Not something I expected or have ever read about people experiencing on a raw food diet, but a very nice surprise indeed.  I’ve always been a huge music fan, but on raw the enjoyment I experience listening to music is transcendent.  It’s like being on some marvelous drug with no side effects.  I can feel every note.  I don’t experience this constantly, but often enough that the enjoyment from this enough totally outweighs any “suffering” caused by missing cooked food.

~General Attitude
Certainly a factor in some or all of the above, but I feel it should have its own category.  My general attitude towards life used to be about as bleak as you could imagine.   No hope for improvement.  These days I see my problems as areas that will and can improve.   Odd to think that just a dietary switch could cause this, but for me it has.

Why it works

For me, a large factor has been the elimination of allergens.  I had severe food allergies as a child, and for many years thought I had “outgrown them.”  No, I had just internalized the reactions they produced.  So hyperactivity caused by eating the wrong foods turned to anxiety.   Sadness and exhaustion eating the wrong foods turned to depression.  And the feeling of helplessness from never feeling good physically was the refined sugar sweetened artificially colored frosting on the wheat, dairy, egg and chocolate containing cake, lol.

Other factors for me were nutrient deficiency and blood sugar instability.  I don’t know enough about the mechanics of these issues to write well about them, but I’ll put some links at the end of this in case you are interested in reading further.  Suffice to say that the high nutrient density and lack of refined sugar in raw food are thought by many to be responsible for many or most of the positive effects.   Another big factor is the live enzymes in raw food, which are destroyed by cooking.  Your body needs these to be able to use the aforementioned nutrients, and to digest food quickly so it can focus on healing.

This is a rough summary.  I’m by no means an expert on how or why raw food works.  I just know that for me, it does.   And by sharing this info I hope to plant the seed in others who may be suffering from similar problems.  I’m promising no miracles, only saying, it may help you too.

To be clear, I’m by no means saying that this diet has solved all my problems.  Among those I am still dealing with are

~Attention Span
This continues to be one of my biggest problems.   I’ve read of many people who have had their ability to focus increase through a raw diet. So far this has not been the case for me.  If anything my ability to focus has gotten worse, due to the increased energy.  I may just not have found the ideal version of the diet for me, or may not have given it enough time.  Or it may be something raw can’t heal.  But I’m hoping to see improvement in this area soon!

~Weight
While depressed I gained a lot of weight.  I’ve lost 35lbs in six months.  Not bad, but many raw foodists have lost weight much more rapidly.   I still have at least 30 more pounds to lose.  I think the reason my weight loss has been slower than some is that I have found a higher fat raw diet to be the most effective in stabilizing my moods.  It’s a trade-off I’m willing to make.

~Mood
Better, better, so much better.  But not *all* better.  Will raw alone be enough?  I doubt it.  However, raw has led me to have the energy to start exercising, try meditation, and do loads of other things that are good for me.   I’m confident that by staying on this path I will continue to see improvement.

Overall I have to say that without question the last six months have been the best of my life.  And this is taking in to account some pretty shitty external circumstances!  The difference for me is that with raw I can see that I am not powerless to change my life.  I’ve heard so many times that mood is pretty much a set point for people, regardless of what goes on around them.  Given my experience I can’t help but wonder if that’s not due more to habit than genetics.  An interesting option to explore, at least.

If you’re interested in getting started with raw food, my strong suggestion would be to start with green smoothies first.   So easy! Try whipping up some bananas in the blender with a handful or two of spinach.   Sounds bad, tastes good.  Add some frozen fruit (unsweetened) if you like it colder.  If you do this every day for a month, you *will* feel different.  Your attitude will start to improve.  You may find that you crave more salads or raw fruits and veggies.   If you do, listen to your body.  Try some raw recipes.   Try a whole day raw, or a whole week.  See how you feel.

Feel free to share this info with anyone you think could benefit from it.  And feel free to email me at dawn.shimp@gmail.com if you have any questions about my experience with raw food.   I’m a new person now, experiencing life in a way I never thought I could,, and if sharing this info can help others I am so very glad to do it!

For further reading (as mentioned above I have no vested interest in any of these authors or sites…just sharing info I feel could be helpful);

Alissa Cohen
http://www.alissacohen.com/
We refer to her book “Living on Live Food” as the Bible around here.   I have dozens of raw food prep books, and this is definitely the one I use the most.  Also has tons of useful info on how and why raw works, as well as testimonials from people who have had success on raw food.   Her website is informative and hosts a great free forum.

Victoria Boutenko
http://www.rawfamily.com/
“Green for Life” is *the* source for green smoothie info.  Even if you have no intention of going raw, her book will show you how easy it is to improve your health and mood by adding green smoothies to your existing diet.

Gabriel Cousens
http://www.gabrielcousens.com/
A medical doctor who has done tons of research on how raw foods benefit health.   “Rainbow Green Live Food Cuisine” is an excellent book which combines science and recipes. “Conscious Eating” seems brilliant but I’m only about a third of the way through it so I can’t give it my full recommendation yet  ;)

Give it to me Raw
http://www.giveittomeraw.com/
Raw Food community where you can ask questions, get support, etc.  I’ve not participated much but have heard great things, and it seems like a good place to start for a newbie just learning about raw foods.

Gone Raw
http://goneraw.com/
Tons of recipes!

Or just google “raw food” and see what turns up that appeals to you.  There’s a ton of info out there now.  If you decide to try this, good luck to you!  Remember it’s not something that needs to be done all at once.  For most people (including me) it’s a gradual process.  Every step you make in the direction of progress is a wonderful gift to yourself  :)

potatoes are my life!

Depressives make the worst bloggers, I swear. LOL. I did want to share my interesting experience of this week, though, just on the off chance that it helps someone.

I’d been in about my worst funk in recent history….I know it was precipitated by sleeping too much, as well as worrying about some health issues I’ve been dealing with. I did some more research (which I really should cite here & hopefully will get a chance to do later)….apparently depressed people dream more that non-depressed people, not only that but their dreams tend to involve more mental activity, with the end result that you can end up feeling exhausted *from* sleeping. Some anti-depressants actually work by suppressing REM sleep. At any rate, I know that a bit of sleep deprivation always helps me to feel better, so Monday and Tuesday night I kept it to about 4 hours. Still felt pretty crummy but could at least get my butt off the couch long enough to get my chores done, so that Dave didn’t have to do them for me anymore. And of course as always when I’m down I crave carbs like mad, and of course as always I tried my best to eat a somewhat balanced diet anyway. Until yesterday afternoon….I just gave in to it & had a big bowl of instant mashed potatoes with canned mushrooms & vegan gravy, and like half a bag of frozen corn. The whole meal had just a smidge of protein from the mushrooms, and no fat to speak of. After I ate it I felt a little sleepy & told Dave that I was going to lie down. He was going to wake me in like 10 minutes but he got stuck on the phone and didn’t make it down. I woke up on my own about half an hour later, with the weirdest feeling like “What am I doing on the couch in the middle of the afternoon?” Once I got up I felt *really* good, but assumed it was just a boost from the carbs & that it would wear off when they did, but it *didn’t*. The depression was just *gone*, and I still feel really good today.

I have no idea what happened. I’ve never had it just…..leave like that, so quickly, with a nap as the line of demarcation. Dave and I have been laughing that I cured my depression with mashed potatoes. And heck yeah that’s the first thing I’m going to try next time I’m down but I’m sure it had to be more than that. I mean, as those of you who’ve exprienced it know, it’s not just a matter of now I’m in a better mood….there’s a whole host of physical symptoms that go along with depression. Basically you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck and covered with a lead blanket and then told to try & go about your life as usual. And all of that was *gone* after the nap. And it hasn’t come back. Weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced.

At any rate, now that I’m feeling better I have to try & catch up with life. Will be doing some work on my Etsy shop this evening and hopefully getting some new stuff listed. Back into the swing of Ashtabula Animal Advocates as well. I’ll try to post daily while I’m feeling up to it :)

“Overcoming Depression”….could it be??

I really enjoy Steve Pavlina’s site, which I came across while researching polyphasic sleep.   His articles about self-discipline and goal-setting are very motivational, but I’ve been stuck in such a funk lately that I’ve been having a hard time implementing his suggestions, and of course becoming all the more depressed at my failure to do so.    Today it occurred me to search his site to see if he’d written about depression at all, and by golly he has.   

At first I did find his ideas overly simplistic, even insultingly so.   These problems are chemical, damn it…it’s not just “Aww, I’m thinking about sad stuff right now, *snif*.” 

But then I really got to thinking about the way my brain tends to work (or not work) during depressive episodes, and before & after.   I do have a tendency to try & retreat into fantasy worlds, but have always fought this as escapist.  Lately, for example, I’ve been dreaming of moving to Portland, OR, but haven’t allowed myself to think too much about it because actually moving there would involve abandoning a lot of very important responsibilities I have here.   Thinking through Steve’s ideas, though, I should go ahead and dream of Portland…of living in a area where I wasn’t the only vegan in the county and didn’t have to spend so much time witnessing animal abuse in my own back yard (quite literally, when I see the hunters going out in the morning & hear their gun shots all day long).    I should go ahead & fantasize about having museums, poetry readings, and restaurants I can actually eat at within a short walk.   I mean, it’s not big stuff in the grand scheme of things, but if one of my problems is that I’m feeling extremely isolated out here in the country, then it should help, right?  

Like I said, I used to reject this behavior as at best escapist and at worst downright irresponsible.  But the part I hadn’t considered is the fact that your thoughts actually *do* change your brain chemistry.   No one who’s spent much time thinking about sex can deny this;  your thoughts definitely have an effect on your physiology.  ;) 

So, kind of taking Steve’s ideas and running with them…if thinking about the messy tangle of responsibilities I’ve created here in Ohio depresses me, and thinking about a more glamorous and (most importantly) effective life elsewhere makes me feel good, why not feel good?   If it’s actually going to change my brain chemistry for the better, then it’s actually the *responsible* thing to do, right?

Another interesting path this leads to…anecdotally, I get the impression that depressed adults tend to have been big daydreamers as children.   Could it be that as kids we were essentially self-medicating ourselves with imaginary happy thoughts, and that once we grew up & denied ourselves that method of coping we became depressed?

Welcome

Emerging from a depression is similar to waking up after a night of heavy drinking.   Nothing makes much sense and you’re vaguely aware that a number of people may be mad at you.   

Physically, the feeling is more like the first halfway decent day after a bout of the flu.    The heavy limbs, the aching joints, the ability to function with large amounts of analgesics, but barely.   For some reason in this state of mind I always feel the need to try something new, repeatedly (and misguidedly) blaming my mood on the circumstances of my life.   

Anyway, today I’m finally off the couch after yet another spell, and I’ve decided to set up this blog.   It’s not due to any great creative surge, rather it’s an idea I’ve had for a while, and today seemed to provide the perfect combination of enough functioning brain cells to excute it, combined with the physical urge to stay in one place for most of the day.

The idea for the blog stems from the Huston Smith quote above:  “The only thing good without qualification is extended vision, the enlargement of one’s understanding and awareness of what reality is ultimately like.”   It’s been a favorite of mine since college…I recently re-re-re-discovered it taped to the front of an old computer monitor.   Even though I hadn’t thought of it for maybe a year, I still find that it’s been behind almost every decision I’ve made in that time (the concept if not the actual words).    I do try to live my life out of a sense of endless curiosity, and considering the aforementioned depression, that’s probably the only reason I’m still here.   A college professor of mine used to say that the only reason he was still alive was to see what would happen next…that’s it, exactly.

The idea of this blog (she says to no one) is to focus on learning in a more formal manner,  educating as I go.   Like many people, I’d love to go back to school but, like many people, I don’t live a life that would allow that.   Also, I’d love to teach, but am far too shy.   So I spend a lot of time half-heartedly researching this or that, but giving very few topics the enforced study that’s demanded in college.   I’m hoping to use this blog as my own unforgiving professor, hovering over me with whiskey breath and  protruding nose hairs.   Perhaps (perhaps) more importantly I hope to educate others in the process.

My main area of interest is animals…animal rights, animal rescue, animal advocacy.   But any topic is fair game.   If this blog gets too cluttered I will divide it up into several more focused blogs, but for now I’m going to see how it evolves.   I’ll also be adding ads at some point, but all proceeds will go to supporting my animal rescue, Serenity Now Ranch (SeNoRa).

Typically the day *after* emerging from a depression is like the first really good day after the flu.   You don’t feel all that great physically, but are just so relieved to be fully functional again that normalcy is ecstasy.   It doesn’t last, but I’m expecting great things from tomorrow…